Bold Blind Beauty On A.I.R.

Connected and Curious with Andy Featuring Stephanae McCoy

• Bold Blind Beauty • Season 5 • Episode 7

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Episode title and number: Connected and Curious with Andy, Featuring Stephanae McCoy 5-#7

Summary of the show:
In this episode of 'Connected and Curious with Andy,' host Andy Chadwick interviews Stephanae McCoy, founder of Bold Blind Beauty. They discuss Stephanae’s journey from shyness to advocacy, challenges and triumphs as a visually impaired leader, and the importance of empathy and inclusion. The episode ends with a message of kindness and the announcement of a new accessibility-focused collaboration.

Bullet points of key topics & timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to Connected and Curious with Andy
01:06 Introducing Stephanae McCoy
03:27 Steph's Early Life and Inspirations
09:15 The Impact of Blindness
13:38 Defining Home and Self-Love
22:00 Facing Misconceptions and Bias
26:14 Defining Bold and Beautiful
32:13 Final Thoughts and Contact Information
35:06  Final Remarks

Supporting Our Advocacy Work:
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Connecting With Stephanae McCoy: 

Connect with Bold Blind Beauty to learn more about our advocacy:

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Music Credit: "Ambient Uplifting Harmonic Happy" By Panda-x-music https://audiojungle.net/item/ambient-uplifting-harmonic-happy/46309958

Thanks for listening!❤️

Andy: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Bold Blind Beauty on A.I.R.'s newest segment, Connected and Curious with Andy, the podcast where stories shine and understanding grows. I'm your host, Andy Chadwick, and together we are diving into the lives of incredible blind and visually impaired individuals who are changing the world in big and small ways. 

Here, we ask the questions, share the laughs, explore the challenges, and celebrate the triumphs without judgment, with curiosity, and with heart. Whether you are sighted and you want to learn, or blind and you want to be understood or educate, this is your safe space to listen, learn, laugh, cry sometimes, and connect where curiosity is always welcome and no question is off the table.

So let's get connected. Let's get curious, and let's jump into today's episode. 

Andy: Hello, everyone. Today, I am super excited for this conversation with the wonderful Stephanae McCoy, the founder of Bold Blind Beauty. We are going to learn a little bit more about Steph and her vision, her why, and why everybody loves her.

So welcome aboard. Get your coffee, your water, your tea, sit down and relax and be a part of this wonderful conversation with Steph. 

Hi, Steph.

Steph: Hi, Andy. I'm so excited for this conversation with you. 

Andy: I am too. So let's start with this. How did we get to know each other? You want to tell the story about how we met? 

Steph: Yeah. I shared a CNN video clip featuring one of our Women On The Move, Regina Mitchell fabulous, blind chef. It was just such an amazing interview. And when I shared that on LinkedIn, you commented on it. I commented back, and then we took our conversation offline. You told me about your mom, yep, having some eye issues, and you had some questions, and I had a few answers. I think our first, first Zoom call was like two hours or something like that. 

We didn't even know each other. But what was funny about that was that, through talking with one another and sharing our different experiences, we found out that we had a lot in common. For example, our work life and the type of industry that we were working in were pretty cool. You had a heart for wanting to help people, and I think that was the real unifier between you and me was our desire to put some positivity out to the universe and really help people as best we can. 

Andy: Yeah, that's it, we just connected. It was just wonderful, and I am so happy to be here with you. So with that being said, we know why we are together, the connection. So let me just put this out to you: before Bold Blind Beauty, before all the advocacy and leadership, who was Steph before all of this?

Steph: That's such an interesting question. Thank you for that. I was always known as quiet, shy. I found years later that I was actually introverted, but I was also very sensitive. My happy place was with myself and thinking. So I've always been a deep thinker. 

One of the things that has driven me ever since I was a child was a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that said, "Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is none and leave a trail." That really stuck with me because, as a quiet person and someone whose childhood was a little difficult. And, as I became an adult, I thought about that and thought, you know, I'm really good at masking. I'm very good at it because, as a child in the environment where I grew up, you didn't share things. You just didn't because yeah, you knew that, you know, that could get you into trouble. So I became very good at masking when I was a child, and even as an adult, I downplay a lot of stuff because that's something that's really familiar to me. 

But yeah, wanting to be accepted was really important to me because I felt like I was just so small and so insignificant and like I didn't matter. And yet I had family members who loved my artistic abilities, even as a child, I used to create, and they stoked that in me, and I would do things voluntarily for several organizations. Even as I got older, I did that, and it just became who I am. 

I didn't find out, though, until I was in my thirties, that advocacy was really where it was at with me. And it was because of my communication, being able to communicate with people, being able to influence people to see some of the difficulties that others experience outside of ourselves, and wanting to put a plan in place to help those people is just part of who I am.

Andy: It's very interesting 'cause the similarities are so close, because I realized later on in life, I was always empathetic. Empathy was one of my top five when it came to the corporate world. So. I always like to look at the bigger picture because you never know the story behind everything. So I gravitate to that. I totally understand that and, like you said, now, I'm finding a lot about myself and figuring out the steps. I was moving quietly, but going to a destination that I didn't envision, and now I'm, like, oh, okay, this is why I'm here.

 So, what's something about your family or your upbringing that shaped the way you see the world or maybe the way you handle challenges today? 

Steph: Uh, I really think, with my family, from when I was a child, I wanted to become a person who was a survivor. I am a survivor, not was a survivor, I am a survivor. I never knew this about myself until I think it was in my thirties, that thought occurred to me, Hey, I'm, I'm sort of a go-getter too. Because I didn't think of myself as that, like you said, quietly doing things, because that was sort of my comfort zone. I didn't need spotlights or accolades or any of that kind of stuff. I just wanted to quietly do the things that I felt I needed to do to get to where I needed to go.

And, um, for my family when with my kids, it was a little bit different because for them it was, it was all about survival, and doing whatever I could to provide for them, a better childhood experience than what I had, and it was hard. It was really hard 'cause I was a single mom to three sons. Yeah. Aw. And my one son, he had ADHD, he was off the charts, and when the school tried to do some things that really weren't kosher, I had to research to find out what I needed to do, and that's when I recognized the advocacy part of me. It was through a lot of writing, meetings, and those types of things, but really just advocating on his behalf. 

Andy: Yeah. Oh, bless. We do a lot of that as parents, right? It's parents as children, caretakers, you know, all of that. That's what brought me on the journey with you and got me connected because I was trying to get information for my mom and trying to be an advocate and ask the right questions for her. I appreciate that. So I'm going to ask you and, if any of these questions don't feel like you want to answer, you are more than welcome to say, No, Andy, let's move on.

Steph: Okay. 

Andy: So, losing your sight, this is something that I'm having the conversation with my mom consistently on. And how it's going to affect or how it will change. But what's something beautiful that came from it that you never expected?

Steph: Yeah. Losing sight is a serious, life-altering event. I never expected it, it came outta nowhere. But yeah, one of the things that is beautiful that came out of it is, there's actually a couple, but my relationships with the people that I have met, the stories that they have shared with me, but I think more than that is my insight and the way that I look at things. I love knowledge, and I love collecting knowledge. I love research, and I've had people tell me, You're so wise. It's like, oh my gosh, is that code for you're so old? I mean, I just didn't know what to do with that. No, but people always come to me, even when I worked, people would always come to me and ask me for advice. Or ask me how to do things, especially when it comes to communicating with other people, like through email and stuff. So I actually was AI before AI. AI was because I love words, I love communication, and that kind of stuff.

So I think the most beautiful thing that came out of my sight loss really was a shift in my insight. It deepened, and I just think that blindness is a part of me, just like any other trait. I'm a woman who's a part of me. I'm a black woman, that's a part of me. I'm an older black woman. All of this is a part of me; however, I am so much more than my blindness. Yeah. All of us are so much more than our blindness or any one definer of who we are as human beings. We always talk about blindness being the spectrum, and I took it a little bit broader and said humanity is a spectrum. It's just so much bigger than us. So, yeah, I think the most beautiful thing that has come out of my blindness is my insight and my wisdom. 

Andy: Oh yeah. I love that you have so much wisdom. I'm gonna ask you another question when it comes to, because this is part of you, right? So when you think back to the woman you were right [00:12:00] after your diagnosis, what would you whisper in her ear today?

Steph: I would whisper to her to just slow down, take a breath, it's going to be okay. And also to really steep myself into each moment as it comes, because we don't know what's gonna happen beyond this moment. This moment is all we have. It is really all we have. And do I wanna spend this moment worrying about something that I have no control over that may or may not happen, or do I just want to be in this moment? That's what I would whisper.

Andy: Okay, all right. So, moving on. I think that was wonderful. And I hope people take pause, just a moment to sit in that, you know? I know we all go through things, and over time, it's just so hard, so difficult. But we only have one life to live, so yeah. With all that's being said, what does home mean to you now? Like, not just the place, it's just not, but what does it mean to you now? 

Steph: Yeah. You know, in 2020. Man, that was a rough one. And even though I'm a person who likes solitude and reflecting, it got to a point where it was really tough and I thought I just. I just can't do this, and I should have prefaced it by saying that, with all of the things that I have been through, I have always lived with major depressive disorder. It stems from trauma from a traumatic childhood. But in 2020, I just reached a point where I just couldn't anymore. I just wanted to give up. And it's not the first time that I felt that way, but it was the first time that I was just so drained of life and, even purpose, nothing made sense to me.

Yeah. I remember my brother calling and he said to me, If you can just go take a shower, do that. And I did that. I tried, but I really couldn't. I just sat down in the shower and sobbed. Mm. And afterwards, my best friend called me. She lives in Rochester, New York. I was in Pittsburgh at the time, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And she said, Come, that's all she said. Just come pack your stuff. Come and, I think it was the next day, my brother took me to Erie, my friend met me in Erie, and then we drove to New York. And I remember on the drive to Erie, it was a beautiful day, just looking out at the sky and just being so grateful that I was still here. Oh, and that, had I done what I wanted to do the previous day, I wouldn't have experienced that. And, I went and I stayed with her for several weeks, but then, I felt restless and I felt like, oh, it's time to go home. So my son actually met me in Erie to take me home. And, you know, when he met me, I felt like I was home, and now home home is family. I'm trying to get to a place where home is, is me. Not outta selfishness, but because I've really struggled with self-love. I've struggled with acceptance, you know, self-acceptance. I still struggle with it. 

I understand it. I understand why it's important, because it's hard to love others unless you love yourself. I get that. But for me, it was always easier to love others than it was to love myself. And one of the things I do to help with that is I pulled a picture of me when I was five or six years old. And I talk to that picture of my younger self.

And I'm gentle with young Steph because young Steph felt so insignificant, and you know. I know intellectually that I'm not insignificant. I understand that because people have told me that, but why is it that I need external validation? To tell me who I am and what, what I do in this world, what I bring to this world, what I wanna leave to this world. Yeah. You know? 

Andy: You are my mirror. The older I get, the more I realize, but I totally understand that. Okay, we're gonna pause.

We're gonna laugh. We're gonna shake it off. Yes. So, moving on. 

So with Bold Blind Beauty, you've built a global movement, Steph, that celebrates inclusivity. What has that taught you about humanity? And I know you, you've mentioned you've discovered yourself; has building Bold Blind Beauty changed your view of humanity? 

Steph: We're living in sort of chaotic times right now, and sometimes it feels like our world is just exploding. Yeah. And it's, it's kind of funny because as you know, I went on a news freeze, but you still hear stuff that's happening. But I always knew that there were more good people in the world than bad people. And don't get me wrong, there truly are evil people in the world. I've encountered evil people, but I do believe that good can conquer evil. And that's one of the things that I've seen through Bold Blind Beauty and through sharing the stories of these remarkable people who are experiencing the world in a way, very few people get to experience it.

Yeah. 

Even you know, when we talk about living with a disability, among the disability community, blindness is still one of those disabilities that is like a mystery. People just don't understand it.

They don't understand what it looks like, which I think is irrelevant, what it looks like, but I had to learn that myself. Yeah. And they don't understand what blind people are capable of. So that was really one of the driving forces behind creating Bold Blind Beauty, and I'm so happy that I was able to find that there are so many people out here who are working to dispel the myths, the stereotypes, where blindness is concerned.

It's just kind of sad that, where bias is concerned, there are so many people who are willing to believe a lie versus the truth. Yeah, that just really boggles my mind. , You can show people evidence of truth, what is factual, and they will still prefer the lie over that. When someone shares with you or discloses to you that they have an issue, no matter what it is. If they're sharing that with you, your job as a listener is to believe them. I just don't understand why we have to question that. I mean, there may be some situations, I guess, where people are applying for benefits or something, where that needs to be answered.

But if it's just a conversation among people, getting to know people, trying to force people to say something that you want to hear because you don't believe what they're saying, is sort of funny. I mean, if I were to tell you that I had cancer, would you look at me and say, Oh, you don't look like you have cancer?

Andy: Absolutely not. Yeah. 

Can you touch on the experience that you had the other day? Where, where, do you mind, mind? Sure. Talking about that? 

Steph: I actually thought about that when I was saying this. I thought about that. So, the experience that I had a couple of weeks ago, I went to the doctor's office, and the very first question the receptionist asked me and it was in her tone. It wasn't so much that she asked me the question, 'cause I get the question a lot. It's just that most people use different words. Yeah, so the question she said to me was: "Are you sure that you're blind? Because you know it says in your medical record here that you're blind!" Just like that, like she was getting in my face, like she was challenging me. So I told her, yeah, I'm, I'm blind. I said, blindness is a spectrum. And then I explained to her exactly what I can and can't see. Typically, I don't go that far into it, but with her, because I felt like she was challenging me, I did. So I let her know that what was in my medical record was, in fact, correct.

I am telling you what I am. Okay. And she just didn't want to accept that, and so I know why it was. It's because I don't look like I'm blind. I was able to make eye contact. I'm able to do that because I previously had sight and muscle memory allows me to do that. Could I actually see her face, her whole face? No, because my blindness doesn't allow me to do that. But I get the general idea of where you know her eyes are. Yeah. And I'm able to appear like I can see her. 

But then right after that, when I was back in the exam room, the doctor comes in, he said, "Hi." I say hi. He sits in his chair, rolls over to me, and says, "So tell me why you're blind." 

Andy: This is a doctor. Oh my gosh. 

Steph: And at first I laughed. The first thing I noticed as he walked in the door was his gait and his movements. So I can't see him per se, but I could see his body moving a certain way. And as he got closer, I knew that he had cerebral palsy. And so for him to ask me about my disability was just, 

Andy: That's terrible. That's, I don't wanna say unacceptable, but that's mind-blowing. 

Steph: It really is when you're dealing with medical professionals who do that, it just shows that we have so much more work to do. Absolutely. So much more. And that's why, to some degree, I don't get angry about some of the other ridiculousness that's happening. Right now, there are videos where parents are encouraging their children to pretend that they're blind.

Andy: That's ridiculous. 

Steph: And is it wrong? Yeah. Is it something that goes against everything I believe in? Yeah. I never believed in mocking somebody's disability. I don't care what it is because again, like I said, that moment and being in that moment. Mm-hmm. The very next moment, that could be you.

Yep. So, for the parents, training their kids not to have empathy and compassion for others who are different is disgusting. And just the arrogance of thinking, as a human that something can't happen to you. You cannot have, or acquire a disability, is really delusional in my opinion, because if you are privileged enough to age long enough, you are gonna find yourself in a situation where you need somebody, you're gonna need some assistance. 

Andy: Yeah, I agree. Absolutely. So yeah. So, can I just ask you, how do you personally define bold and beautiful today?

Steph: Bold for me is courage. It is just being courageous and having the courage to really accept all of yourself, being unafraid to show up as yourself. So for me, it was really embracing my white cane, using my white cane, and showing up.

Even though that experience with the doctor and the receptionist was one of those experiences that I wish I could have had a do-over on, how to properly educate them in that moment, I'm human. We're all human. They're human. Yeah. And we all could have handled that situation a little bit better.

But despite that, I still showed up and filled out the survey after it was showing up. Being beautiful is being genuine. It's being true to yourself. It's just being real and not having to pretend to be someone else to dropping that mask. As a matter of fact, the mask. So I created a new design for Bold Blind Beauty called Unmasking Misconceptions.

Andy: Love it. 

Steph: For me, it was sort of a, almost like a literal thing because as I said, for most of my life, I masked who I was because it was a protection in a way too, because I am so sensitive. I don't wanna be hurt. I don't want people hurting me. Yeah. So my mask helped to protect me. So for me, that's beautiful. 

Andy: I love it. So I would, we're talking about people and individuals' comments, what's something you wish the sighted community and the blind, visually impaired community? We stopped saying to blind or visually impaired individuals. What's something you wish they'd start saying instead? 'Cause one of the things I wanted with this platform I wanted it to be a space where we can ask those questions, right? But if somebody is curious and wants to understand, what should those individuals stop saying and start saying? 

Steph: Well, for me, and everybody's different, but I think it's the approach as well as the word. So I sort of gave an example of how she asked me that question. It was like getting my face type thing, like she was challenging me. But if someone just very calmly, excuse me, but may I ask what can you see? Can you see anything? And people have asked me that, and I think that's totally fine. It's just, they're trying to figure out a way to do it so that they're considerate of me and my feelings, while at the same time being able to understand how they can best serve me.

So when you approach it from that way, and that's like the golden rule, putting yourself in that other person's place. Yes. Yep. So when you approach somebody with kindness and respect and empathy, you are going to ask in a way that takes in consideration their humanity. 

Andy: I like that answer. This is Blindness Awareness Month. Can I ask you, do you see any changes? When we have a dedicated month, I mean, it should be every day. But when there is an actual month set aside, have you seen any changes?

Steph: Yeah. I, I do. I have people reaching out to me, all the time, and on social media, thanking me for sharing this story or that story. When we share our experiences, that's how we learn from one another. Rather than relying on our assumptions, 'cause our assumptions can get us into trouble. I see changes in companies that are becoming more inclusive because they're becoming more aware of our needs and how they can better serve the blind community, and even greater than the blind community, but just people in general. Being aware of other people's situations can help make us better people. 

Andy: I agree. So, if you could leave the world a voicemail that everyone had to listen to at least once. What would you, what would your message say? 

Steph: Gosh, I wanna say something like, but it sounds so cheesy. Love yourself, love others. No, it's not cheesy at all because I think that's something that we need right now. 

Right. Can you say love yourself, love others? Yeah. I think, if we could remember that all of us are going through something, we are all the hero in our own story. We tend to forget that the person next to us is also the hero in their story. Yeah. And you don't know their entire story. Yes. 

Andy: Do you have anything fun coming up or anything that you want to share the audience with the audience? 

Steph: Actually, yeah. One thing that I totally forgot is our newest collaboration with Innosearch AI. So we are building an accessible storefront, and it's going to be amazing. It's already started. I already have some products out there. I'm adding more stuff as I go along. What I like about partnering with Innosearch is that they are fully accessible, and they have an AI component that can help guide people. There's an audio component, it's just. An amazing experience, and our community loves the work that they are doing, and I want, I'm glad to be part of it.

I'm, I'm really glad to be a part of that, and I hope that I'll be able to convince other blind entrepreneurs to join me in supporting Innosearch AI.

Andy: Yay. I'm excited. We're excited about it all. 

Steph, I just want to say thank you. Just being who you are, embracing me in your life. I cherish every moment that we spend together. I cherish all of the team at Bold Blind Beauty.

 If anybody wants to get in contact with you, how should they reach out? 

Steph: They can reach out to me on LinkedIn at Stephanae McCoy, S-T-E-P-H-A-N-A-E McCoy, or they can reach me through email smccoy@boldblindbeauty.com. Or on TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube, and those are @boldblindbeauty.

Andy: Anything else you would like to add before we leave? 

Steph: Yeah. I just want to encourage people just to be kind to one another. Right now, we're experiencing some difficult times, and a lot of people are hurting. If you know of someone personally who is in need, if you can give of anything, no matter how small, every little bit helps. 

Andy: Yeah, I agree. With that being said, thank you so much, Steph. Thank you for everything that you do out there.

Steph: Thank you, Andy. I love you.

Andy: Thank you for tuning into Bold Blind Beauty On A.I.R.'s Connected and Curious with Andy. I hope today's conversation left you inspired, educated, and a little more connected than before. Remember, curiosity brings us closer, and every story shines a light. Until next time, stay connected, stay curious, and keep shining. 

Contributor

Nasreen Bhutta

Co-host
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Stephanae (Steph) McCoy

Co-host
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Sylvia Stinson-Perez

Co-host